The poorly-written narrative of the pathologically self-aware is coming soon.
في المشمش ...
Instead, I give you Homestuck, sketches, linguistics, and crude sexual humor.
Go ahead, try your luck.
Hey dude I love your dramatic readings. Anyway, can you read the name of every state in America in the most seductive way possible? In alphabetical order please.
what the fuck
Saying the Names of All 50 States in Alphabetical Order…Seductively
I almost spit out my pasta.
Most satisfying moment of the week:
While waiting on line for a guided tour of a cave, a woman tells her friends about how she ‘dresses her kids up as handicapped’ by giving them canes and helmets so that they could get on rides faster at Disney World.
Shortly afterwords, I loudly comment on being glad the path has railings since I often need a cane to walk because of my disability, then glance over my shoulder to see her shut the fuck up in a really spectacular way.
(And really, the worst part is that she’s not even doing it herself, she’s making her kids act like this. They’re gonna grow up thinking this shit is totally acceptable, and that’s on her.)
Damn it, why the fuck are there so many cute girls in fucking Phoenix? Who the fuck wants to live in Phoenix? Ladies, come to Tucson, we’ve got way less money but way more spirit! Also, we’re not Phoenix!
(I’m not nearly as angry about this as I look to be.)
Well so far I have seen only one dick and about 10,000 inspirational quotes. Holy shit, people, put yourself in the photo, no-body wants to date your fucking inspirational quotes, they want to date you.
But really I’m not too upset about the dick famine.
I’m apparently such a devoted online-dater that I get to be a mod on OKC now. So far I’ve just marked some bland not-the-users, but I’m sure a dark tide of dicks is a commin’.